How to Spook an Elephant

You must be silent. Take small steps and approach with
Caution. bigger, Bigger, BIGGER.
Grab the squirmy creature from your pocket and bite your tongue. You are in control, you can do this. Bend back at the waist and inch under, one step at a time, the enormous grey body that hangs above you
Is still. You must be too.
Head towards the back end and plug your nose. Using the two tails, tie a knot. No, not a knot. A bow, be swift and soft and invisible.
With one big slap to the rear, take off running. If you are able to avoid the crushing feet of the enemy give yourself,
A swift pat on the back.
Wash your hands.